I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
