...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
