she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
