dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
