seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
