please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
