i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
