She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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