He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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