new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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