I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
