Only a mothe r could love this liver
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
