if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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