On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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