I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize