I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
