I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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