I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
