i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
