I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
