Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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