Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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