My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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