Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
