so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just tell him i said nine months
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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