My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
