Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
