Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
