The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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