she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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