so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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