Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
