The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
