Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
