Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
