your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
