I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
