I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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