I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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