You're my little dorito
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
