Your mouth is God's brothel.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
