Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
