Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize