why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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