I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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