How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
