We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The uberlube is also flammable
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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