the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
