Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
