Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
