I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
zippers are such a cool invention
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
