somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
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You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
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I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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