Your tits are I can't wait for
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
