Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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