never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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