the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
