She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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