Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
